Global Warming:
Picture Taken From land:
Not The Middle Of The Ocean
As in, Bears are not stuck. They can swim to shore by photographers' own admission
P.S. Man-Made Climate Change is a fraud, in case you still didn't get it.
That...and Turn or Burn
.
Man Questions Al Gore....doesn't get answers. Instead, gets his mic shut off and escorted out.
The Oceans Are Rising! The Polar Bears Are Drowning! The Ice Is Melting!
Everyone look out! The end is near...at least for the polar bears that is. But don’t let those furry, cuddlycreatures of the north distract you from this terrible threat. First it's them, tomorrow it's us. That is if we don't act
NOW to stop it. Didn't you hear? We Capitalist Americans have caused this global warming crisis with our
selfish, planet-killing ways. It’s up to us change our cancer lifestyles and save the planet form the doom that we
have caused. Forget about China, India, Europe and all other sprawling global economies that don’t give a crap
about global warming. There not as sophisticated as us. They all go nuclear, we harness the wind! They drill oil,
we grow corn! Hummer goes bankrupt, China buys Hummer!
And what about Al Gore, huh? He is watching over our lives like baby Jesus does from the fluffy pillowclouds of heaven. You do not want to make your Supreme Ruler angry, do you? Or worse .... DISAPPOINTED?!
Yeah, he flies a private jet, and yeah, the power bill for his Tennessee mansion is over 20 times the national
household’s average (1). But He is doing so much for the planet that it's okay for him to live extravagant. It's up
to us, his loyal minions, to off-set his carbon foot-print. After all, he is preaching to the world a message of
change and health for the planet. Let's all make a rule together; every time Al Gore fires up his Gulf Stream jet,
we’ll all take public transit. It's the least we can do! Every sacrifice we make on Al Gore's behalf, is a foot more
ice for the bears.
Another rule: Anyone who opposes our precious global warming message must be shot and KILLED!What? We can’t do that? Ok then, Shot in the leg....no too? Uhh, horribly disfigured....alright then you sissies;
Anyone who opposes us will be exposed and discredited as the nut jobs they are! Is that better? Those
defenseless bears need a voice, dang it! They need to win the argument against those stupid and intolerant
people. Haven’t they seen the pictures of the melting ice? Haven’t their eyes burned from the documentaries?
The Global Warming Deniers are a menace. An ignorant menace. There not scientists like us. They have
that Rush Limbaugh as THEIR scientist! What? There are actually over 650 scientists (2) who oppose our
righteous climate change message? How dare they! Ok, Ok, Ok, new rule: any scientist who opposes
our cause must be shot and KILLED!....What?! Oh yeah....can't do that. Ok, we need to make sure they lose
their jobs, tenure and most important, their credibility. The bears wouldn't mind those tactics. They need ICE for
crying out loud! It's up to us to save the FREEKING ICE for the FREEKING BEARS!
Also don’t waste too much time debating or convincing adults. We need the kids man. If adults don't get it now, they never will. But those children and those precious, precious children brains of theirs are crucial for
our message. They are just WAITING to be manipulated and brainwashed. Look how good it worked for Hitler
and his youth army...What?! They lost? Hmmm ... suicide in bunker, you say? Well forget about that, it was cold
back then. We got problems now! The kids need cartoons and video games all about saving the
planet. They need kid actors to make commercials about living green. They need...what? That's already
happening? So, Hitler lost World War 2 AND we already have propaganda all over the TV and internet?
Wow, I need a Tylenol.
So lets recap: Bears are dying, we are next. Change light-bulbs, buy second hand clothes and SHOOT everyone who disagrees. Al Gore is THE MAN, brain wash all children and Hitler lost world War 2.
Any questions? Good! Now get to work.
In parting, here are some final thoughts:
